Greetings
Good morning friends!
It is good to gather in worship with
all of you this Sunday. I am feeling pretty energized today-it's
been an exciting week! I spent the last two days listening to
inspiring preaching and powerful teaching about the structures of
racial discrimination and institutionalized violence in our society.
It was a stretching experience- challenging both to my way of life
that comfortably enjoys the privileges of my whiteness, and also to
listen to people who sometimes said things that I really really
disagreed with, with some conspiracy theories and pseudo-scientific
nonsense, but I come away inspired to continue the work of social
transformation in a country that has not yet overcome it's sinful and
shameful history.
Equally, I had a wonderful time at
retreat last weekend, and I hope that those of you who made it out
were also blessed by the cool weather, the good company, and Roland
Kuhl's reflections on the church as a mosaic and a parable that God
is speaking into the world.
We have some work ahead of us,
collecting and collating the conversations we have had over the last
couple of months and turning them into a direct kind of proposal for
the congregation, and that is work we are going to do. But I decided
a week or two off from visioning will be good for me, and probably
for all of you as well.
Forgiveness is important.
So lets talk about
forgiveness. We have before us powerful stories-
Joseph, reunited
with his brothers after they betrayed him and sold him into slavery.
Paul, encouraging
people at each other's throats fighting over essential theological
differences to get along.
And Jesus,
encouraging us to forgive seventy-times seven times. (or 490, for
those of us who do not have quite as much poetry in their souls).
And the Bible is
full of these kinds of powerful stories of forgiveness. Jacob,
reunited with Esau, The Prodigal Son are all stories of people
reuniting with one another. And even more are the stories of God's
forgiveness- The Old Testament can be summed up as a story of the
people abandoning God, experiencing the consequences, repenting and
asking for forgiveness, and being restored to the beloved community.
Jesus again and again told the people that he healed “your sins are
forgiven”, often without them ever vocalizing the request. And on
the cross he asked God, “Father forgive them, for they know not
what they do”.
So this is
something that we have to talk about.
Forgiveness is tricky
But
forgiveness is tricky. It's no easy thing to imagine reuniting with
brothers who have sold you into slavery, or to be told that you have
to forgive others or you won't ever be forgiven by God. It's hard
not to remember old wounds, and it is very counter cultural to
suggest that you should let your brother torment you 77 times before
getting fed up.
And the way that we talk about
forgiveness can be a very dangerous thing-this is not solid ground on
which we walk.
We have this image of
forgiveness-someone does something wrong to you, you tell them about
it, they feel bad, and say that they are sorry, and you forgive them,
and graciously allow them back into relationship.
But the world doesn't really work that
way.
Tending relationships is almost an
infinitely complicated task. Anyone we know for more than a few years
and deal with in any kind of intimate way almost by definition will
collect a list of faults and challenges that is bound to drive us a
little bit nuts, sticking in the back of the mind and coloring our
relationships. The bitterness that can build up in families over a
lifetime can resonate from generation to generation. It is little
wonder that we tread so lightly on difficult subjects like politics,
religion, and race, for we know how long our memories are, and how
fraught the webs of relationships we weave.
I don't think that it is entirely a
coincidence that the biggest stories of forgiveness in the Bible take
place between people who have been separated for a long time-Jacob
and Esau, Joseph and his brothers, the prodigal son, these people
went away, and then came back. There was time for emotions to cool,
for memories to fade.
It is in some ways easier to forgive
the one big thing than the stream of small annoyances that are the
frictions of everyday relationships between parents and children,
between spouses, between coworkers and brothers and sisters in the
church.
Really, it is rare that this little
drama plays out like we'd wish, with one person clearly in the wrong,
one person clearly in the right, and both of them willing to ask for
and offer forgiveness, so that reconciliation and transformation
might occur. Most of the time, both sides are the aggrieved party,
and believe that they have been wronged, both sides want the other to
ask for forgiveness, and often suggest they do not owe anyone an
apology. After all, Forgiveness is tricky.
Forgiveness misused
And Forgiveness can be misused.
Sometimes the Biblical teaching on
forgiveness can feel like an attack when we aren't ready to forgive,
an outside pressure on deeply personal work, a aggressive attempt by
an adversary to use our theology to gain the upper hand in a struggle
that is not finished yet.
I know you have felt the temptation to
use forgiveness as an excuse to hold a grudge- that old playground
complaint, “they should forgive me! I've said I'm sorry!”
Forgiveness is dangerous.
And what is worse, the theology of
sometimes forgiveness is used as a weapon of abuse. In situations of
domestic violence, abusers will often beg for forgiveness after
beating up their spouses, eloquently pleading for another chance,
invoking the scriptures to justify their partner remaining in a
broken relationship. This a pattern of violence that should rightly
be horrifying for everyone. Forgiveness never requires staying in a
wounding relationship. Forgiveness is not a weapon.
I just spent two days remembering the
history of racial oppression in our society-the ways in which
whiteness and blackness were constructed in colonial America for the
purpose of domination and violence, the ways in which we continue to
treat black bodies as suspects and targets, and allow the judicial
system to treat them in ways we would never allow the bodies of white
children to be used. Did you know that about 1/3 of black men in
their 20's are under the supervision of the criminal justice system
in this country?-in prison, jail, on probation, or on parole. And
sometimes people suggest that we need a fresh start, from a racial
perspective, to let ancient history lie, that those are events of our
past, and that it is time for forgiveness.
I don't think I need to tell you that
this is a dangerous narrative-the powerful cannot demand forgiveness
from those they oppress. We may forgive, but while damage is still
apparent, there remains restitution to be made.
Forgiveness is essential
But despite the
fact that forgiveness is tricky, and can be misused, and is really
really hard, I deeply believe in the value and power of forgiveness,
of letting our hearts heal, and not holding grudges. Forgiveness is a
promise, not a threat.
Because when done well, forgiveness
means hope for those who are excluded, and second chances for all of
us, because we have all sinned and fallen short of God's call in our
lives.
The most powerful stories of
forgiveness I know are stories of victims and offenders reconciling.
In this process, crime victims talk with the perpetrators who harmed
them, explain the pain and suffering they experienced, and then the
criminals tell their stories, and ask for forgiveness for the wrongs
that they have caused.
When it works well, it can be life
giving and transformative for both parties-a chance to discover the
human in people that were previously enemies, a chance to let go of
old hurts and start fresh.
Equally, the power of programs like
Project COPE that welcome ex-offenders back into society is that they
are based on the power of forgiveness, the possibility of paying your
debt, and returning to health.
And one of the things that makes me
angriest about our society is the ways in which we prevent that from
happening-the casual ways that employers discriminate against
offenders, locking them out of many jobs, the difficulties our
partners have in finding housing and new communities that will trust
them. They have been marked permanently with the sins of their youth.
Big stories
Our stories of forgiveness this morning
are these kinds of big stories-these are not half-hearted examples of
forgiveness, momentary lapses quickly brushed over in long and
positive relationships, nor are they simply choosing not to grumble
out loud. These are hard choices, made to transform families and to
make all things new.
Joseph was sold into slavery by his
brothers, and was left alive only because of their sense of guilt. He
had not seen his father or mother for his entire adulthood, and when
his brother's appeared before him, he spent months torturing them,
threatening them with imprisonment and even death.
The story that we have this morning is
only the happy ending, when he gave up the charade, confessed his
status as their brother, and embraced them with joy.
Paul tells of the early battles in the
church between the strong and the weak, where sides were drawn up as
to how Christians were supposed to live in the world, and we know
that there is nothing more vicious than Christians who disagree with
one another about what God wants. Some said you can eat anything,
others avoided meat sacrificed to idols. Some said that you have to
keep the Sabbath holy, others said that all days were alike, and I'm
sure everyone told everyone else that they were going to hell. But
Paul's message is clear-who are you to pass judgment on the servants
of another? Who are you to decide for Jesus Christ who is one of his
worthy disciples? For a church that has been riven ever since with
schisms and arguments about what is and is not sin, in a Mennonite
Church threatening each other based on whether or not same sex
relationships are sinful, Paul's words still resonate: “welcome
those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling
over opinions.”
And finally our gospel story, where
Jesus tells a story where our choice to forgive, or not to forgive,
is at the heart of our salvation, the heart of what it means to be
Christian.
Peter asks Jesus, how often should I
forgive my brother or sister? Seven times? Which is already a
lot-that is far beyond an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.
This is well beyond 'fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame
on me!' Peter is offering a week's worth of forgiveness, a sabbath
rest of resolution.
But Jesus says that is not enough- I
can just imagine him smiling, and saying no, no, my friend. Seven
times? You can find seven reasons to forgive a brother by breakfast.
70 times 7 times. Forgive again and again and again. Because letting
go of the sins of others is one of our key disciplines.
Because
forgiveness as a life giving act- when we don't bear grudges, and
don't remember the faults of our brothers and sisters, we also set
down a burden that we didn't need to carry, and we give the chance
for new relationships and new life to flourish. When we practice
forgiveness well, we get a little more deeply in touch with the God
who prayed father forgive them from the cross, the God who will
always wait, arms open, for the prodigal son, will always sweep,
looking for the lost coin, will always welcome you home with love and
joy.
May it be so.
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